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Identifying as LGBTQ+ in Singapore can feel like you’re constantly balancing on a tightrope. On one side, there’s your authentic self — the part that just wants to live, love, and express freely. On the other, there’s a society that’s still catching up when it comes to understanding what inclusivity truly means. And your colleagues, family and friends may still not 100% get you. Whether it’s facing casual homophobia at the office pantry or having to keep your dating life low-key around family, the mental load can easily add up for some.
It’s no wonder that more and more LGBTQ+ Singaporeans are turning to therapy, not just to “fix” problems, but to find a safe space too. It’s a big step for anyone, and an important one in a personal journey. The good news? Therapy is slowly becoming widely accepted and less of a taboo, as well as becoming a way to make sense of challenges in day-to-day life and LGBTQ+ specific situations.
But how exactly does therapy play into helping LGBTQ+ individuals in Singapore explore who they are? We spoke to different LGBTQ+ individuals who share how they reclaim their sense of belonging, and cope with the silent pressures that come from existing in a world that’s still learning to see them fully and honestly.
Coming To Terms With Identity In Spite Of Upbringing
For many queer Singaporeans, therapy starts as a journey of self-understanding. Take Sean*, for instance — a 27-year-old gay man who shared that he first sought therapy after years of feeling “off” about his attraction to men. Growing up in a Catholic family and being a dedicated churchgoer, he internalised the idea that something was wrong with him. “My therapist didn’t tell me who I was,” Sean said, “but she helped me see that there was nothing wrong with being me.”
With the help of affirming therapy, Sean adds: “I grew to not question my identity and orientation, but validate them instead. I was lucky to have an understanding therapist to help me unlearn internalised shame that might have been built up through years of societal conditioning”.
“In my sessions, identity exploration wasn’t about labelling. Instead we focussed on the language used and communication. Therapy really served as a mirror for me, reflecting back the self that I kept hidden or misunderstood for years”.
Sean hopes that more individuals will be able to be as fortunate as him in finding the right therapist. In a society where conversations around sexuality and gender can still feel taboo — especially within traditional families — having a non-judgmental space to voice those thoughts can be life-changing.
Finding Belonging in a World That Doesn’t Always Feel Safe
For queer individuals, therapy actually often becomes the first place they experience unconditional acceptance. “You don’t realise how much you’ve been masking until you’re in a room where you don’t have to,” said Jasmine*, a 30-year-old bisexual woman who’s been in affirming therapy for three years.
Despite having a lot of people around her every day, Jasmine never felt “seen”. She shares, “I will admit that before therapy, I have never been 100% myself around anyone in public. I was constantly fearful of judgement and preconceived notions if I shared who I was completely. Therapy provides that space where authenticity isn’t just allowed; it’s encouraged.”
Therapists trained in working with LGBTQ+ clients often use approaches like affirmative therapy or narrative therapy, where individuals are guided to rewrite their personal stories through a lens of strength and resilience. Beyond coping with feelings and rejection — it’s also about rediscovering belonging in community, relationships, and selfhood.
From Jasmine’s experience, we know better that therapy doesn’t erase discrimination, but it gives LGBTQ+ Singaporeans the emotional tools to navigate a world where belonging can’t always be taken for granted.
The Pressure of Surviving the Workplace as LGBTQ+
If you think navigating relationships and friendships as a queer individual is tricky enough, the work place is a whole different ball game. In an arena where promotions and politics are factors, personal identity can feel super risky. Sure, while Singapore’s workplaces are slowly becoming more inclusive, many LGBTQ+ employees still operate in what one therapist described as “a silent performance of safety.”
Nobody knows this better than Marcus* a 32-year-old marketing executive in a tech firm. He shares: “There are so many things to consider about when in the workplace. “Am I too open about who I am? Should I mention my partner? What if HR finds out?” Thankfully, these are questions that I can discuss openly in therapy.”.
“When my boss made an offhand joke about “rainbow people”, I froze at that moment” he said. “My therapist helped me process that moment — not just what happened, but how it made me feel powerless. Now, I know better on how to manage a similar situation to remove myself from it if I’m uncomfortable”.
Therapy gave Marcus the language to assert boundaries and recognise microaggressions for what they were — not “harmless banter,” but subtle invalidations that chipped away at his confidence. For Marcus’ case, he took his therapist’s “mental safety plans” aka intentional strategies and actionable steps to protect his emotional wellbeing in unsafe and unsupportive environments. Some examples Marcus cited were having a trusted ally at work, deflecting invasive questions, and even recognising when to look for a company that aligns better with his values. These strategies may seem small, but can have a huge impact.
Healing From Internalised Stigma
As much as Singapore has made progress over recent years, internalised stigma still runs deep. Many queer individuals have spent years absorbing messages that tell them they’re “too much,” “unnatural”, “different”, or worse, “don’t deserve love”.
Danielle*, a trans woman in her late twenties, shared that therapy helped her confront not just external rejection, but internalised beliefs about her worth. “I thought therapy would just help me cope with being trans in Singapore,” she said, “but it ended up helping me realise that I’m deserving of love, respect, and softness — just like anyone else.”
Therapy for LGBTQ+ individuals often includes working through trauma, no matter how big or small. This could be anything from surviving conversion practices to dealing with rejection from family. But it also involves reconnecting with joy, community, and self-compassion.
Therapists might introduce grounding techniques, mindfulness practices, or journaling exercises that help clients tune into their bodies and emotions – all activities that are often often neglected when you’ve spent years trying to “blend in.”
For many, healing is not linear. But it’s in therapy that people are able to shrug away the nagging pressure to prove their worth — whether as a colleague, a friend, or as a child.
Therapy Helps The LGBTQ+ Community In Different Ways
For LGBTQ+ Singaporeans, therapy isn’t just about mental health — it’s about survival, self-discovery, and the ability to exist authentically in a confusing world. From finding belonging in a small counselling room, to reclaiming confidence at work through personalised techniques and methods, therapy can become a lifeline. And while the road ahead for LGBTQ+ inclusivity in Singapore is still unfolding, one thing’s clear: more people are choosing to do the inner work — not because they’re broken, but because they want to be better.
If you or someone you know is struggling with sexual identity or coming out, A Space Between provides a safe environment for support with queer-friendly counsellors. Besides being a resource for help or navigating the challenge of coming out, A Space Between also shares advice on therapy and LGBTQ+ issues through online blog articles, as well as holding community events.
